Twilight
by T'eyla
Summary: TR songfic. Once again, Trip and Malcolm mess up an away mission... but this time the consequences are much more complicated than usual. Last chapter is up.
1. Intro

Title: Twilight

Author: T'eyla

Genre: General/Romance (Songfic)

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: Not mine.

AN: This is T/R, a somewhat experimental songfic that's been occupying my mind for some time now. It has nothing to do with the Episode "Twilight"; the title refers to a line from a song by The Red Hot Chili Peppers. The song I used for the songfic itself is "The Grind" by Aerosmith. If you can get your hands on it, listen to it, it's great - the minute I heard it I knew I had to make a T/R fic out of it ;).

Thanks to my betas SitaZ, Gabi2305 and The Libran Iniquity, who took the first draft and whipped it into shape. It's only due to their patience that I can present you now with what I hope to be a tolerable T/R fic.

The chapters - like this first one - might from time to time come up a little short, but **I'll be updating daily**! (Got it? ;) ). Now, have fun reading, and please leave a review when you're through.

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I don't know where, when or why,

The twilight of love had arrived

> The Red Hot Chili Peppers

Intro

"I guess I do... love him." Trip didn't raise his head when he spoke the words but kept his gaze fixed on his plate, poking the pasta with his fork. Jon sighed.

"Trip... are you really sure about this? I mean... you know... were you ever-"

"If I've ever been attracted to a man before, you mean?" An amused twitch played about Trip's lips.

Jon nodded. "Have you?"

Trip pursed his lips, slowly shaking his head. "No. I don't think so. Maybe there was an occasional "God, if you were female", but... never like this. Actually, I can't remember ever havin' been... attracted to anyone like this... nobody."

Jon was silent for a moment, studying his friend, thinking of Natalie. "That serious?"

"I don't know." Trip finally looked up. "I guess."

"And he knows?"

Trip gave a soft chuckle, the tips of his ears just blushing. "I don't know if he knew before yesterday, but _now_ he does."

At that, Jon raised his eyebrows. "Did something happen on that away mission that you didn't include in your report?"

"You could say so."

"Trip."

Trip sighed. "Well, y'know 'bout the cave-in."

"Yes, of course, and I know about the rest that was in your report."

"Yes." Trip again stabbed the pasta which he had barely touched at all. "Well, we were locked in that cave, an' Malcolm was hurt. An'... well..."

"Yes?"

"Aw, what the heck." Trip put his fork down and leaned back in his chair. "Lemme tell you from the start. It all began with me in launch bay one, goin' over the shuttle's systems, an' all the while that tune was runnin' through my head..."

TBC...

Please let me know what you think!


	2. Verse One and Chorus

Title: Twilight

Author: T'eyla

**AN: **Thanks to lieutenants-lady (told ya, I'm gonna update daily ;) ), Gabi2305 (was glaubst du, wie lang ich an diese 450 Wörter hingearbeitet habe? Mindestens... 5 Minuten? -g-), Andrea (here comes...), KaliedescopeCat (I like T/R as well -shake hands- ;) ), Exploded Pen (thank you :) ) and ana (bright and early? Uh... I'm not a person for bright and early... but here's the update anyway ;) ) for reviewing. Have fun reading Chapter 2 and don't forget to review! :)

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Verse I/Chorus

Trip operated the helm's control of shuttlepod one, telling it to run a standard pre-flight check, under his breath singing an old song he'd known when he'd been much younger and that for some reason he'd remembered that morning.

_

> > > I never thought a first time love would ever last,
>>> 
>>> How could a kiss like that knock me flat on my ass?
>>> 
>>> The burning bed, the roses dead, and now I'm dancing with myself...

_

The last note he didn't quite catch, the effect making him wince, and Trip fell silent, leaving the tune to play on in his head. Turning, he climbed out the shuttle's hatch and stretched. According to his wristwatch it was just 1000 hours, and when a second later the door swished open, Trip smiled.

Sharp as always, he thought.

"Mornin' Malcolm," he said and grabbed the suitcase with equipment that had been standing next to the shuttle. "All ready to go?"

Malcolm whose attention was focused on some padd he was holding in his hand didn't look up. "Ah... yes," he said a little absentmindedly. "In a minute."

"Whatcha got there?" Trip asked, shoving the equipment case through the shuttle's hatch. When Malcolm didn't answer, Trip turned his head to see the lieutenant staring in concentration down at the small display. He smiled a little to himself.

"You with me this mornin'?" he asked, climbing into the shuttle. When he was in, he turned around and saw Malcolm finally raise his eyes.

"Sorry," the Lieutenant said and came over, tucking the padd in his pocket. Trip took a step backwards as Malcolm first let his eyes wander over the shuttle's interior in a quick scanning manner and then looked up at Trip. "We got everything?"

"Yup. Climbin' gear, water bags, scanners, flashlights..."

"Phase pistols?"

"Phase pistols," Trip confirmed, smiling a little. "An' everythin' else. Will you get in now?"

Malcolm let his right eyebrow twitch a little and flashed his economical smile. "Someone's eager to get off the ship, I believe," he said and climbed in as well. As he closed the hatch, Trip sat down in the pilot's chair, aware that his face was probably showing a pretty goofy smile but not caring. He would never have told anyone, but when he was with Malcolm, he felt like smiling like that all the time. That and the feeling of being at ease he experienced when Malcolm was around told him that there must be a little more to his feelings for Malcolm than plain friendship, but he didn't think he wanted to admit that, not to himself and certainly not to anyone else. He figured that if he were to do that, then he'd have to act on these feelings in some way, and that could only lead to disaster.

That didn't mean that he didn't allow himself to enjoy the time he could spend with Malcolm, he savoured every minute as a precious gift from whoever controlled these sorts of events - God, Satan, Cupid. Today, he and Malcolm were off to gather some rock samples for T'Pol. She had registered some rare type of rock in one of the lower stratums which were accessible only by climbing down into the lower parts of the planet's widespread cave system. Remembering his and Malcolm's last encounter with climbing adventures, Trip at first had had a few doubts, but Jon had assured him that the climbing didn't compare in any way to the steep precipices they'd been forced to tackle when they'd rescued those Denobulan geologists. Well, maybe rescued was the wrong word. Dragged them out of the caves by their stubborn behinds. Whatever.

A low cough returned Trip's attention to reality, and he realized that Malcolm was standing right behind him.

"Now, are we going to get flying any time soon, or have you changed your mind?"

"Sorry," Trip said, "guess my thoughts been wanderin'." He flicked the switch that would open a comm channel to the bridge thinking with a touch of sarcasm that if he and Malcolm kept displaying that kind of attentive behaviour, this away mission was bound to be a complete success. "Tucker to bridge, we're all ready to launch."

"You're all clear to," came Jon's voice from the comm. "Have fun."

"Sure will."

The pod shook as the docking arm pushed it through the opening hangar doors, then the clamps unlocked and Trip took over navigation.

_

> > > Yeah 'cause I'm missing you,
>>> 
>>> Just like you want me to,
>>> 
>>> You made me trip into the grind
>>> 
>>> Now I can't get you off of my mind

_

"What's that strange sound?" Malcolm asked, and Trip realized that he'd been humming that tune again. He smiled.

"Jus' me."

"Oh."

They didn't talk much on their way down to the surface, but that was alright with Trip. People wouldn't have thought, but he appreciated silence. Especially this kind.

TBC...

Please let me know what you think!


	3. Verse Two and Chorus

Title: Twilight

Author: T'eyla

**AN: **Thanks to WhtevrHpnd2Mary (music rules! esp. Aerosmith and The RHCP ;) ), Exploded Pen (don't want the story to lose consistency, that's why I'm updating daily :) ), lieutenants-lady (thank you! I tried to make this a little more than a typical short T/R - nice to hear I managed to do so :) ), KaliedescopeCat (here comes trouble ;) ) und Gabi2305 (Yep, 2mal. Macht nix, das treibt die Review-Zahlen hoch -gg-) for reviewing. And after a short fill of about five hours of sleep and a bloody boring schoolday we zoom right into the next verse...

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Verse II/Chorus

"Well, ya know Malcolm, I ain't got nothin' against gettin' off the ship once in a while, but somehow I wished we'd choose our landin' sites a little warmer."

Malcolm looked up from his scanner, a genuinely surprised expression on his face. "It's not cold."

"Yeah, it is. The wind's cold."

"There barely is any wind."

Trip snorted and decided that pointing out that in fact there was enough wind to make him feel like he was freezing wouldn't do any good.

They were standing on a slight rise somewhere in the coniferous forest where T'Pol had located the caves. He let his eyes wander over the forlorn landscape around them, thinking that if there were creatures like dwarfs and trolls, they'd live nowhere but right here, then returned his attention back to Malcolm and Malcolm's scanner. "Pick anything up?"

"Lots of things. But not what we're looking- wait." He looked up, pointing in a direction slightly north of them. "There's a small cave over there where we won't have to climb further than... " He checked the scanner again. "Thirty meters down."

"Sounds good. Lead the way."

"With pleasure." Malcolm's mouth quirked, and Trip recognized the alert-yet-not-tense smile. He seen it quite often, mostly on away missions when everything was going smoothly. He liked it - he liked all Malcolm's smiles, the man did have quite a collection to choose from, come to think of it - but by far it wasn't his favorite. That he had seen only once or twice, it was a grin that spread on Malcolm's whole face, almost making the eyes disappear. Malcolm nearly never showed it, a fact which Trip found both regrettable and kind of sad. He knew the latter was a little silly, it simply wasn't Malcolm's way to run around grinning like a Cheshire cat, but all the same he couldn't help it.

_

> > > Your sweet talking hip shaking walking gonna blow a man away
>>> 
>>> Kiss butt, guess what even double crossing dogs have their day
>>> 
>>> So forget about regret about you lying, afraid to say

_

He shook his head trying to chase the song out of his head and caught up with Malcolm who was walking a few steps ahead of him.

"It's creepy 'round here," he said.

"Why?"

Trip didn't respond immediately, surveying the silent trees and the ground that was covered with a spongy layer of fallen leaves and needles. "I don't know. It's... this forest is creepy. It's not really woods, way too small for that, and too sparse, but it's not a small happy forest where you expect to meet Bambi behind the next tree either."

"Bambi?"

"You know what I mean."

"I guess I do. But to be honest, I can't see anything out of the ordinary about this forest." Malcolm as well looked around, then at Trip. "It reminds me of the forests in Europe."

"You mean England?"

"No, not England. More Central Europe."

"England's central."

"More central central."

Trip laughed. "Right. I know exactly what you're talkin' about."

Malcolm smiled as well, then turned his attention back to his scanner. "According to these readings, the cave should only be a few feet away."

"Huh? Which direction?"

"Over there." Malcolm pointed ahead and a bit to the right. Trip squinted to get a better look at the area he was indicating.

"I can't see a cave anywhere."

Malcolm didn't answer, instead set off and walked around a small hill which was more an unevenness in the ground than a hill. Just when Trip was about to follow, the Lieutenant spoke up. "Oh, I see. Here it is, Trip."

Trip came up beside Malcolm, and now he as well discovered the rather narrow crack in the rocky ground, a black gap about one on half a meter. "That's our cave?"

"There's a cavern of about thirty-five cubic meter below."

Trip made a low whistle, and Malcolm handed him the scanner so he could unshoulder his backpack.

"After going down there, we'll only have to use the climbing gear two more times... here and here," Malcolm continued, pointing out the spots on the scanners display that showed a rough outline of the system of caverns they were apparently standing on top of.

Trip nodded. "Doesn't seem too hard."

"Shouldn't be," Malcolm agreed, pulling rope, snaplinks and harness out of his backpack. Trip watched him for a moment while Malcolm put on his climbing gear, and again felt that sensation of ease. As creepy as this forest was, Trip appreciated the atmosphere it created. Some kind of silent, all-embracing understanding of matters.

He shook his head and began to get ready for the climb as well. They had no problems finding a secure place to attach their rope, and few minutes later Trip found himself slowly, carefully sliding off the edge of the gap into the dark below. Of course, as soon as he was in it wouldn't be dark anymore, his flashlight would see to that, and anyway, Malcolm's scanner had shown that there was nothing dangerous down there. Still, it was not a pleasant feeling, and when not much later - the cave didn't seem to have a very high ceiling - he felt solid ground under his feet again, Trip noticed he was kind of relieved. Shining his light upward, he saw Malcolm following him, his movements measured and cautious.

_

> > > Yeah 'cause I'm missing you,
>>> 
>>> Just like you want me to,
>>> 
>>> You made me trip into the grind
>>> 
>>> Now I can't get you off

_

When Malcolm's feet made contact with the ground, he immediately pulled his scanner from his pocket, with the other hand unfastening the rope from his harness. Trip took a few steps and came up beside him. "Something wrong?"

"I don't know. I thought I heard something up there, but I'm not sure. The scanner's not picking anything up, though." Malcolm frowned, the blue shine of the scanner's display outlining his hard features in an eerie way. Trip turned the scanner in Malcolm's hand so he could look at it as well. The display was blank, though, only glowing blue and showing no readings.

"Must be the rock. It's probably interfering-" He broke off as Malcolm tensed beside him. "What is it?"

"The rock's crumbling. I felt small stones coming down from the ceiling. This cave's not stable." Quickly, Malcolm tucked the scanner into his pocket and turned back to the dangling rope. "We need to get out of here."

Trip blinked in confusion, but the urgent undertone in Malcolm's voice told him the man wasn't joking. He really thought it wasn't safe here, and if there was any sixth sense Trip relied on, it was Malcolm's. Trip took the few steps over to his own rope and was just about to attach it to his harness when he heard a low rumbling. A second later a bunch of pebble-sized rocks hit the cave's bottom between him and Malcolm, spraying small splinters in all directions. Trip looked up and saw that Malcolm was unhooking the snaplink on his harness again.

"We can't climb up anymore." Malcolm was speaking in his usual level voice, but all the same Trip had trouble understanding him and realized that the rumbling sound hadn't ceased, had, quite the opposite, gotten louder. He let go of his rope.

"We need to get further back into the cave!" Trip called over the noise, already setting off into the pitch-black in the back of the cavern. "That front part's gonna come down any second." He thought he heard an affirmative from Malcolm but wasn't sure. Turning around, he saw that the Lieutenant was still standing beside the cave's wall. "Come on, Malcolm! Get movin'!"

In the dancing halo of the flashlight that shone through the dust that seemed to be hanging in the air all over the place all of a sudden, Trip could make out Malcolm who was just letting go of the rope and turning towards him. "Hurry!" he called, and the next second jumped as the rumbling reached a climax and suddenly turned into a crunching. Then the first big rock crashed onto the ground only a few feet from where Malcolm was. A second one followed, and soon Trip felt close to panic as he couldn't make out the Lieutenant anymore between the falling rocks and the dust.

"Malcolm!" he shouted but barely heard himself over the noise. "Malcolm! Where are you?"

After a moment the racket of the falling rocks ceased, and a part of Trip felt relieved as he realized that this obviously wasn't a complete cave-in. His other half, however, was still with all its will fighting the panic that was threatening to overwhelm him. He coughed, then called again. "Malcolm, answer me!"

Suddenly he thought he heard a small sound, and stood silent, listening intently. There it was again, from somewhere to his left. His head snapped around, and he let his flashlight's shine wander over the pile of rocks. "Malcolm?"

"Over here, Trip." Definitely left. He took a few more steps, batting away the dust that was hindering his vision, and thought he caught a glimpse of something blue between the grey of the rocks. Quickly, he walked around a bunch of rocks and dropped to his knees beside Malcolm who was lying on the floor in a prone position. With a sinking feeling Trip saw that most of the Lieutenant's legs was buried under rubble.

"Malcolm," he said, settling a hand on the man's shoulder. "Are you okay?" He could feel Malcolm's back rise and fall quickly under his fingers, and as the Lieutenant coughed a few times, the muscles tensed up.

"I... " A few coughs and gasping breaths. "I think my leg's broken."

The voice was low and strained, and Trip closed his eyes for a second, inwardly cursing fervently. "Which one?"

"Right."

Trip swallowed and turned his head to look at the heap of loose rocks that covered Malcolm from the waist down. He was just about to open his mouth to say something more when the chirp of his communicator made him startle. He fumbled it out of his pocket and flipped it open. "Tucker here."

"Trip, are you alright? T'Pol picked up some seismic activity around your position."

Seismic activity. That would explain the cave-in, then. Trip let out a short sigh. "I am, but Malcolm's not. We're in a cave, and half the ceilin' came down. Malcolm's leg's broken." Trip thought he heard Jon mutter a few expletives, then Archer's voice came again.

"We'll transport you out of there."

"Won't work. Scanner's not working down here, either. Something in the rock." This time the expletives weren't muttered, and Trip almost smiled. Almost.

"Can you get out of there without-"

"No. The cave's kinda underground."

A short pause, voices in the background. Then Jon again. "We'll get you with shuttlepod two, but it might not be advisable to land it right on top of your cave." Trip bit down on a sarcastic statement that crossed his mind and listened without interrupting. "The caverns extend pretty far, but T'Pol says it's safe if we land a little further away from your position. It'll take us some time to get to you, though. Will that be a problem?"

Trip quickly glanced down at Malcolm's back on which he still had his hand resting. Malcolm's breathing hadn't quieted down, if anything, it had gotten more irregular. "Hope it won't. How long?"

"About three hours, maybe a little longer."

"Alright. See you then. Tucker out." He flipped his communicator shut, then bent down so he could see Malcolm's face. The Lieutenant had his eyes closed, his mouth was a thin line. Trip tightened his grip on his shoulder. "Malcolm."

No response.

"Malcolm!" This time Trip even shook him - very gently. All the same Malcolm's eyes flew open and he pulled in a sharp breath. Trip immediately let go of his shoulder. "Sorry. Malcolm, did you hear what the Cap'n said?"

Malcolm blinked a few times. "He'll get us with shuttlepod two?"

"Exactly. It'll take them about three hours. Malcolm, can you hold up till then?"

The Lieutenant closed his eyes again. "Yes." He swallowed. "There should be a med kit in one of the backpacks. Would you-"

"Of course." While digging through the packs, Trip mentally kicked himself for not thinking of it earlier. Well, of course he'd thought of it. For not getting it earlier.

He knelt back down beside Malcolm, the hypospray with the painkiller in his hand. Gently, he brushed the dust off Malcolm's neck, then held the hypo against the warm skin. There was a low hiss, and a few seconds later Malcolm relaxed visibly.

"It's not a very strong one," said Trip, putting the empty hypo aside. "I don't know how long it'll be till it wears off."

"I'll be fine, Trip."

Yeah, sure. You always are.

TBC...

Please let me know what you think!


	4. Bridge

Title: Twilight

Author: T'eyla

**AN:** Thanks to Andrea (thank you! btw, sprichst du Deutsch - wegen gmx.de?), WhtevrHpnd2Mary (you like the first-timers? Well, hope you'll like this one ;) ), Phaser Lady (here's more...), KaliedescopeCat (holidays start in the end of July over here :( - but during school year we have more holidays than students in America; where, I assume, you come from?), Gabi2305 (ja, obwohl das ja eigentlich TOS ist - in Enterprise ist der Transporter ja noch viel zu unsicher... -hust- ;) ) and lieutenants-lady (thanks for the compliment) for reviewing. Well, if this was a German site, I'd say jetzt geht's ans Eingemachte, but I don't know what's that in English - my dictionary claims I should say we're really scraping the barrel now :). Anyway, here's the next part, enjoy (and review!).

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Bridge

_

> > > And the more I try
>>> 
>>> Leads to the same old lie
>>> 
>>> You made me slip into the grind
>>> 
>>> Now I can't get you off

_

Trip almost couldn't believe it, but that tune was still running through his head. He was sitting on the ground next to Malcolm and was hugging his knees to his chest in a grip whose tightness was only partly due to the cold. They'd been waiting for only about fourty-five minutes - at least that was what Trip's wrist watch claimed. It _seemed_ a lot longer.

After giving Malcolm the hypo, he'd waited for a few minutes for the painkiller to take full effect, then began to remove the debris that covered Malcolm's legs. The upper layers had posed no problem for they only contained rocks no bigger than fist-size. When he'd removed those, he discovered the actual problem; a middle-sized boulder that had pinned Malcolm to the ground, smashing his right knee in the process. He tried to remove it as carefully as he could, but already when he'd done no more than touch the rock, Malcolm gave a strangled cry of pain.

Trip had wanted to leave it like that, wait for Phlox to come and give Malcolm something that would knock him out and leave him oblivious to any pain the removal of that boulder was going to cause him, but Malcolm had not agreed. He told Trip to clear away that rock anyway, not naming any particular reason though. Trip guessed that having roughly three kilos of rock pinning you down on a broken leg wasn't exactly painless, and that Malcolm had figured it would be better to remove the boulder as long as the painkiller was still working.

He was reluctant to do something that so obviously was going to cause Malcolm pain, but all the same he hadn't argued but simply gotten rid of the boulder as quickly and carefully as he could. Malcolm hadn't made a sound, but when Trip had checked on him, he'd noticed that the Lieutenant had lost consciousness. He'd been shocked at first, but then had realized that this gave him a chance to take care of Malcolm's leg without putting the Lieutenant through unnecessary pain. He'd done all he could with the limited resources he had - a small standard first aid kit - then had gotten Malcolm settled on the ground in what he hoped to be a slightly more comfortable position. Going through the contents of their packs, he'd noticed with slight irritation that they had not taken a blanket along. He'd taken off his jacket and had spread it over Malcolm, hoping it would protect the Lieutenant from the worst of the cold. Then he had sat down next to Reed to wait for him to wake up.

Another look at his watch told him that now it had been fifty minutes. He rubbed a hand over his face and it came away covered in grime. Sighing, he shifted a little and his gaze involuntarily came to rest on Malcolm's face. The Lieutenant had his eyes closed, but his features weren't relaxed like those of a sleeping person. There were hard lines around his mouth and eyes, pain lines, even though he was unconscious. With a touch of bitterness Trip thought that he'd seen these lines more often than some of Malcolm's smiles - a lot more often than for example the beaming Cheshire grin. There must be something wrong with that, he thought, feeling a well-known sensation build somewhere below his breastbone. A sensation that included hurt, longing, fear, sadness and resignation and that he'd vainly been trying to ignore for so long already.

It wasn't like he'd never considered making some kind of move. He had, many times, but he'd always come to the same conclusion; sooner or later any action on his part would lead to both of them being a lot more unhappy than before. He simply couldn't imagine Malcolm feeling similar things as he did. True, they got along wonderfully, and Malcolm had declared himself Trip's friend, a thing that both flattered Trip and made him feel happy, for he knew Malcolm didn't make friends easily. But Malcolm had never done anything that indicated he might be feeling anything that went beyond simple friendship, and Trip knew that if he voiced his own feelings and found they weren't mutual, that friendship would be irreversibly damaged. Or over altogether.

That Trip knew, but if it had been all, he might have tried anyway. But there was more to it. Suppose Malcolm did feel just like he did. Suppose the big revelation would end in them getting involved in a relationship. It would inevitably lead to a catastrophe. Trip knew that he himself wasn't exactly good at keeping a relationship stable, and if the things Malcolm had told him aboard shuttlepod one that one time were any indication, the Lieutenant wasn't either. Then it would be something completely new, at least for him, for they were both men. Then there was the problem of the fraternization rules. And there was the fact that they both didn't exactly lead a life without danger. Trip found it hard enough to be worrying about Malcolm all the time without them being involved in anything intimate. He didn't know if he'd be able to stand that worry in an actual relationship for a longer time.

Trip wasn't a person to calculate his every move by carefully weighing advantages and risks, usually he acted mostly on intuition. But he wasn't stupid, either. He knew the times when he couldn't just follow his heart and do whatever his feelings told him. On these occasions, he needed all his willpower to keep his impulsiveness in check and make his rational mind keep the upper hand. And it always hurt. Badly.

_

> > > Off the cloud we was on, now it's off gone,
>>> 
>>> Tell me why, why, why
>>> 
>>> Ain't I getting through
>>> 
>>> Ain't no lie

_

A low groan made Trip raise his head. Malcolm had opened his eyes and was blinking like he was disorientated. Trip quickly moved over to kneel beside him and put a hand on Malcolm's back.

"It's okay," he said. "Don't move. How d'you feel?"

Malcolm was silent at first, obviously taking stock of his situation. Then he slightly squinted his eyes shut. "Hurts," he said, his voice slurry. Trip winced in sympathy.

"I can believe that. I'm afraid we've run out of painkiller, though."

Malcolm nodded. "... fine."

Trip only caught the end of it but could easily imagine what Malcolm had said. He didn't comment on it, though, but simply settled down next to Malcolm on the hard rocky ground and began to slowly massage the tense muscles in Reed's neck. First, his moves were tentative, but when Malcolm neither protested nor tensed up at the touch they became a little more confident.

For some time neither of them said anything, and Trip unseeingly stared into the dark at the back of the cavern, listening to Malcolm's harsh breathing, trying not to count the minutes in his head. He knew it would take Jon and the team at least another two hours to reach them. The cave system must be rather widespread, he thought. Briefly, he wondered how they were going to get Malcolm to the shuttle without hurting him even more, then remembered that as soon as they were out of the cave, Enterprise would be able to pick up their bio signs again. They'd just beam him up.

Beam him, once again. Of all crew-members he's probably the one that used the transporter the most often.

Trip had only once or twice used the transporter, and he hadn't liked it at all. He knew that transporter technology was based on brilliant thinking and on more-than-capable engineers working on and improving hardware and software for years, and he was also aware that if the transporter was authorized for bio transport, the error rate must range from very low to almost non-existent, but all the same the part of his mind that wasn't controlled by his rational thoughts didn't trust the device at all. The thought of himself being dissected, encoded in EM-wave-patterns and sent through space gave him a bad case of the creeps. To allow any machinery to do that to you seemed highly suicidal.

"Why is it that every away mission we're on ends in complete disaster?"

The voice made him jump, even though Malcolm had spoken in a low, almost inaudible tone. Trip looked down at the back of Malcolm's head. "I dunno," he said. "Bad vibes."

A low chuckle. "Guess you're right. Bad vibes." Malcolm fell silent. A shudder ran through him, and Trip saw him wince as the movement reached his broken leg.

"Are you cold?" he asked.

"It's alright," Malcolm said but couldn't suppress another shiver. Trip cursed silently, continuing to carefully knead the tense muscles in Reed's back. He knew that Malcolm probably was in shock, but there was nothing he could do. He didn't have a blanket to keep him warm, and he'd already done everything he could about Malcolm's leg. Why the med kit didn't at least contain an emergency blanket was beyond him, but as soon as they were back on Enterprise he was going to check whether that was standard or if Malcolm and he just had had luck on their side once again and had gotten a faulty one.

"What caused the cave-in?"

"Seismic activity." Trip remembered last night's meeting, when T'Pol had told them that this area of the planet had been formed in a tectonic folding about fifty million Earth-years ago. 'Tectonics are still active, but chances that there will be any seismic activity during your stay on the planet are minuscule.' Those had been her words.

"Seismic activity?" Malcolm repeated, sounding a little detached as if he were trying to grasp the meaning of the words. Trip nodded, even though he knew Malcolm couldn't see it for the Lieutenant was lying with his head turned the other way.

"T'Pol picked somethin' up."

"An earthquake?"

"Dunno. Probably."

Malcolm was silent for a moment, and Trip could feel him tense under his fingers. "There could be aftershocks."

"They're already over, if there were any," Trip said, trying to sound certain of what he was saying. Which he was. Pretty much.

"There might be more earthquakes," Malcolm said, now sounding a lot more alert than before. "The small ones mostly occur in clusters." He turned his head to look at Trip even though the movement obviously caused him pain. "You need to get out of here."

"Nonsense," Trip said, dismissing his own resurfacing worries about more earthquakes. "It's been over an hour. If there were gonna be any earthquakes, they'd already happened. It was a single one."

Malcolm however was not to be convinced by his assurances. "No, Trip," he said, and Trip realized in alarm that he was trying to prop himself up on one elbow. Quickly, he put a placating hand on the Lieutenant's shoulder, but before he could say anything, Malcolm continued. "There might be another cave-in, it's not safe in here. And you can wait outside just as well as in he-." He broke off, drawing in a sharp breath as his movements caused his leg to shift. Trip tightened his grip on Malcolm's shoulder.

"Don't move, Malcolm. An' don't worry. I'll be alright. Nothin' happened over the last hour, an' nothin' will happen in the next two hours. I'm not leavin' you alone in here."

Malcolm, who was now propped up on his right elbow, drew in a shuddering breath and shook his head. "No, Trip. It's not safe. You have to get out of here." He looked up and Trip saw something akin to desperation glimmer in his eyes that were glazed over with pain. "Don't stay in here. I'll be-"

"Malcolm. The chance for seismic activity to occur _once_ while we're down here was, according to T'Pol, next to nothin'. What're the odds of it happenin' twice?"

But Malcolm wouldn't budge. He shook his head, and Trip wished he wouldn't do it. He knew that any movement, however small, was causing him pain. "You mustn't stay in here. It's not safe. I don't want anything to happen to you."

"Nothing will happen to me, Malcolm." Trip tried to put as much confidence in his tone as he could muster. "Now just lie back down and stop moving-"

"Trip!" Malcolm grabbed his left wrist, his grip almost painfully tight. "Get out of this bloody cave. You don't need to stay with me. There's nothing you can do anyway. It's not safe in here, and I don't want anything to happen to you just because I'm stupid enough to screw up every and any away mission I'm on-"

"Now wait just a minute," Trip interrupted Reed's increasingly agitated flood of words. Malcolm fell silent, breathing heavily, and closed his eyes for a moment. Trip watched him, then briefly shook his head. "I don't know why you're so eager to have me outta here, Malcolm. I told you, if there were going to be any aftershocks or additional earthquakes, they'd already be over. And if against all odds there's really going to be more seismic activity, and I'm outside, on top of an unstable cave system, I'm in just as much danger as in here. I'm staying right here, Malcolm. Now please lie back down before you make yourself pass out again."

Malcolm let out a deep breath, hanging his head. "I... I just don't want anything to happen to you, Trip. I..." He raised his eyes again, and when Trip saw the look in them, he immediately ceased to pay attention to what Reed was saying.

Malcolm's gaze was slightly clouded up, pain-filled, but that wasn't what had attracted Trip's attention, nor were it the worry-lines around Reed's eyes. The thing that had caught Trip so completely off-guard was the expression that lay beneath the pain and worry. There was something that he'd seen on only two persons in his life; once in the eyes of an old girlfriend when he'd told her he wanted to break up, and countless times in his own.

He cleared his throat. "Malcolm..."

Malcolm, who'd still been talking, closed his mouth. "What?" he asked, his tone almost weary. A couple of times Trip tried to speak but found neither words nor his voice. He saw Malcolm study him. "What is it?" Reed asked, a little more alert, and when another look in the Lieutenant's blue-grey eyes confirmed Trip that he hadn't imagined what he'd seen before, Trip let himself be overwhelmed by himself and bend down, placing a gentle kiss on Malcolm's lips.

He'd fully expected Reed to pull back, maybe to push him away. Instead, Trip only felt him freeze under the touch. Then, when Trip was already about to break away, to his utter astonishment he felt Malcolm respond the kiss. For a moment, neither of them moved, both staying as they were, lips touching. Then Trip, his rational mind finally catching up, pulled back quickly, a gasp escaping his mouth.

"Oh God, I'm sorry," he said breathlessly, hastily retreating, putting a safe distance between them. "I didn't mean to-"

"Trip-" Malcolm was staring at him, eyes wide. Then he blinked a few times, shaking his head a little. "What just happened?"

"I-" Trip took a deep breath. He could have kicked himself. Just a few minutes ago, he'd been sitting there, contemplating on the futility of giving Malcolm any indication of how he felt, and now he'd kissed the guy. You're such an idiot, Trip Tucker. "I'm sorry, Malcolm. I shouldn't've-"

"Did you just kiss me?"

Trip closed his eyes. "I'm so sorry, Malcolm. It was-"

"Did you?"

"Yes." Trip opened his eyes again, and when he saw the grin spread on Malcolm's face, he briefly wondered if he might he hallucinating.

"I knew this away mission wasn't a complete waste of time," Reed said and let himself sink back down onto the floor, wincing at the movement. For once, Trip almost didn't notice it.

"What?"

"You just kissed me. That makes it safe to assume that you're at least a little bit attracted to me. For that knowledge I'd go through more than just a broken leg."

For a long moment, Trip was rendered speechless. This isn't happening, he thought. I fell asleep or something. But that wasn't the case. He knew that much, if nothing else. Carefully, he sat back down next to Malcolm and hesitantly put his hand on the Lieutenant's back again.

"Do you... so..." Again, he cleared his throat. "You're happy to hear that?"

"Very."

"So... so you're attracted to me... as well?" Inwardly, Trip winced at how extraordinarily stupid he must be sounding.

"Have been for a long time."

At these words, in Trip a knot that had been sitting just below his breastbone loosened, and he briefly closed his eyes. "Same here," he said quietly.

_

> > > Tell me was it good for you,
>>> 
>>> Tell me what you want

_

TBC...

Please let me know what you think!


	5. Chorus and Bridge

Title: Twilight

Author: T'eyla

**AN: **Thanks to Gabi2305 (nichts geht über signed reviews - ja, und Dornröschen und ihr/sein Prinz dürfen auch bald wieder heim gehen g), Exploded Pen (isn't it always like that - two people like each other, but they both JUST DON'T GET IT! g), KaliedescopeCat (oh yes, there is... a little snuggling with the cutest Chief Engineer on Enterprise - which isn't saying much for they only have one -ducks as Trip fans throw rotten vegetables-), pris (here's the early update for you :) ), WhtevrHpnd2Mary (nothing wrong with a little romance...), Phaser Lady (uh... I guess I have to disappoint you... you expect too much from those two poor guys just now, I'm afraid ;) ) and Andrea (let's get down to business - hell, yeah! Didn't think of that one! ;) - und sorry, soviel kommt hier nicht mehr... für ein Songfic ist es ohnehin viel zu lang. Aber Nummer 2 ist in Arbeit - mehr oder weniger ;) ) for reviewing. Okay, second to last chapter. A short one again - but hey, you're getting daily updates, don't complain! -g-

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Chorus/Bridge

The next one and more than half an hour passed in more or less complete silence. Trip found it quite astonishing that they wouldn't want to talk about what they'd just discovered, but he realized that it might be better to postpone any further conversation about the matter until a later occasion. Maybe when they weren't freezing their butts off in some underground cave on an alien planet and Malcolm wasn't only half-aware of what was going on around him due to the pain in his broken leg. Trip sincerely hoped that the earlier revelation hadn't simply been pain-induced delusional talking, but he didn't think so. It had seemed like Malcolm meant what he'd been saying.

_

> > > Yeah 'cause I'm missing you,
>>> 
>>> Just like you know I do,
>>> 
>>> You made me trip into the grind
>>> 
>>> Now I can't get you off

_

Trip had quite a collection of mixed feelings about what had happened before, and sitting on the cold rock of the cave's bottom, he had enough time to contemplate on them. On the one hand, he was happy. Happier than he ever remembered being, and he realized that his feelings for Malcolm must go beyond a simple crush, or plain attraction, that he might actually have fallen for the man. This surprised him, he'd never before felt anything for a man, not as far as he could remember, and he had only seldom felt so strongly for anyone. If ever.

But aside from the happy sensation of bliss that spread in him when he'd realized Malcolm felt similar like he did, he was utterly confused. His kiss, the spontaneous reaction to what he'd seen in Malcolm's eyes, had initiated this, but he didn't know if "this" was right. Only about an hour ago he'd come to the conclusion that a relationship with Malcolm could only go wrong, due to the situation they were in. Now, that situation hadn't changed, and what was to be concluded from it was still the same as well. But every time he thought of telling Malcolm about it, of saying "sorry buddy, but this won't work out" and leaving it at that, something in him protested so loudly it almost hurt. He _wanted_ this, and he didn't know for sure, but he even thought he needed this. And he simply didn't know what to do.

_

> > > And the more I try
>>> 
>>> Leads to the same old why
>>> 
>>> You made me trip into the grind
>>> 
>>> Now I can't get you off of my mind

_

He didn't say anything when Jon and the others finally came and got them out of there. Somewhere along the way Malcolm had slipped away into unconsciousness, so Trip couldn't talk to him either. He simply acted his normal self and tried to keep everyone oblivious of his confusion. But acting wasn't Trip's strong side, and after a while - more precisely, as soon as Malcolm had safely arrived in sickbay and the commotion of the rescue mission had quieted down, Jon took Trip aside.

"Is there something wrong, Trip? You seem... distracted."

For a moment Trip considered simply dismissing Jon's question, but he knew that he wouldn't be able to get his feelings straightened out all by himself. Getting his feelings straightened out was something he'd never been very good at. "I guess..." He cleared his throat. "There's something I need to tell you. At length. Tomorrow, at breakfast?"

Jon nodded. "Alright. 0900, don't be late."

"Be there."

TBC...

Please let me know what you think!


	6. Outro

Title: Twilight

Author: T'eyla

**AN: **Thanks to Ocean (hm... I see what you mean. I was of the same opinion for a long time), Phaser Lady (well, I think they _could... _but if I could post that at ff.net is another thing -g-), lieutenants-lady (wait and see - I'm not giving anything away -g-), Gabi2305 (und das hier ist noch kürzer :o ), PJinNH (sorry. I thought I had made it clear enough that this is T/R), WhtevrHpnd2Mary (last chapter - sorry!) and KaliedescopeCat (no, I won't do that - probably -g-) for reviewing. Now, last one! Thanks to everyone who read, reviewed and kept reading to the end! TTYS (hopefully), T'eyla

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Outro

You can do this. It's only Malcolm. He won't bite or anything.

Trip stood in front of sickbay's big double glass doors, his fingers hovering over the panel. He'd just come from the Captain's mess, and still had half an hour left until the start of his shift - he was on light duties for today. A few minutes ago Phlox had called and announced that 'Mr. Reed has regained consciousness' and that he'd been asking for Trip.

That's not a bad sign, I guess. I hope.

Trip sucked in his lower lip, then finally, in a quick movement, thrust his fingers against the door opener. The bulkhead slid aside.

"Ah, Commander!" Phlox came towards him, a beaming smile on his face. "The Lieutenant's already waiting for you. Over there." He indicated a biobed at the other end of the room. Trip just nodded, not quite trusting his voice to sound normal if he were to speak, and slowly made his way to Malcolm's bedside.

"Hey," he said when he came up beside the biobed, resting his hands on the edge of the bunk and giving Malcolm a quick, almost timid once-over. The Lieutenant did look a little worse for wear, his right leg in a heavy cast and his face a tad paler than usual. When Trip finally met Reed's eyes, he found them slightly hazy, and recognized the effect of painkillers.

Malcolm's lips parted in a slight smile. "Hey, Trip."

"How d'you feel?"

"I'm all right. Phlox pumped me full with medication, so I'm not feeling much at all, as it is."

Trip smiled as well, and a slightly uncomfortable silence settled around them.

Studying Malcolm's face, Trip looked for a sign, any sign, that told him what exactly Malcolm wanted - to say, to do, whatever. Reed seemed pretty relaxed, considering his usual reaction to any kind of personal conversation. Reed seemed pretty relaxed about the whole thing in general, Trip realized. Not what he'd expected. But not unwelcome either. He cleared his throat.

"Well... I guess..." He shifted his feet and lowered his gaze, slightly uncomfortable. "I guess we should talk about... what happened."

When he looked up again, he saw Malcolm looking at him, not smiling, but also missing the guarded look in those grey eyes that Trip had half-feared to discover there.

"Yes, we should. But not now."

Trip frowned a little, slightly confused. Malcolm had asked for him, hadn't he? So why...

Malcolm's next few words made him understand. "I doubt Phlox would let you stay long enough." Malcolm paused, seeking out Trip's eyes with a look that could have been described as imploring. To Trip, though, it looked more anxious than anything else. "For now, I'd only like to know one thing."

"What would that be?" Trip asked, hearing his own voice sounding slightly hoarse in his ears.

"Did you mean what you said down there?"

"Yes." Trip let his voice sound firm this time, so Malcolm would understand. Understand that if they were going to try this, any failure wouldn't be due to any half-heartedness on his part. "I fully meant it."

"Good." Malcolm, who'd propped himself up on one elbow, lay back down on the pillows and closed his eyes. "I did too."

Trip hesitated, then carefully closed his fingers around Malcolm's. The Lieutenant's eyes flew open, but he didn't pull his hand away. Instead, he simply lifted his gaze, again meeting Trip's. A tentative smile played about his lips.

"Let's... let's take this slow, okay?" he said, and Trip was already about to pull his hand back when Malcolm's grip tightened. Trip smiled.

"Alright Malcolm. Slow and steady."

The End

Please let me know what you think!


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